life understood is life lived

well, i don't know, it makes sense to me

2008-07-14T22:13:12Z

so is finding out your sister's pregnant(by phone) while breaking up with someone (in person) just after burying your dog (with that person) a normal chain of events? either way i guess it was a good time for change
and all for the better i guess
some people (myself) just feel more normal (for lack of a better term) when they're alone. life just seems to be absent of nonessential bullshit and there is no one to answer to
except "the man" but thats a subject we all know will lead us nowhere (at least in this particular discussion)
so this is the deal
?
maybe i don't know what the deal is but that's usually about how it goes and is there really any reason to not be who i am? it is why people care and it also becomes why people hate me
so i say whats on my mind even when its random so what
pretty much everything on my mind is random
i don't get it either get over it
i'll never be able to "properly" "explain myself" but that is perhaps one of my most dominant traits thats what gets me you don't know me sometimes perhaps I don't know me get it?
me neither oh well
the waves will not stop themselves they must either be broken (i don't break easily)
or they just keep on goin. are we going to watch them all?: analyzing every component and probability thereof (good at times but fucking do it already)-analytical skepticism, i have that too
try and break them?: REALLY not a good idea most of the time
or just ride 'em the way we like to ride sometimes losing it but always finding another to ride just as hard
YOU CANT CONTROL EVERYTHING (neither can i) waves=life (in a sort-of roundabout way)

?

2006-07-18T15:28:42Z

sometimes we forget who weare amidst all the chaos of the world we forget where we come from
differences difrences
the intangible is what also makes us the same
subconciously ive died but wait
how is that any different than REAL life what makes you real
memory? rationality? concious decisions made subconciously
life and death go handinhand
so
what?
do something
NOW

drivin

2006-06-23T14:40:26Z

tomorrow begins a long journey to humboldt state u
im gonnna miss my kats
thats really all i have to say

earth_power @ 2005-12-15T23:03:00

2005-12-16T05:46:08Z

forgive my actions
for i am the protective one
trying to hold on to something which may be just a little bit more than the nothing that surrounds us
everyday
love is not the easiest of emotions
thoughts are liquid and easily manipulated
choose your manipulation
or
just go with what feels good
for now until i get a grasp of some sort of solitude involving complete creative
orgasmic explosion of undisturbed uninfluenced
death or
the beginning of a new life not in the literal sense im not a fucking suicidal mind
in other words my true lightt
mind and soul to exceed all "limits"
im wasting time
or is time wasting me
where am i or do i even care?'
i love a girl and
shes still so far away
but maybe further than i am
i lack control though i know what i like and i know what feels good and i know that
theres more to everything
why do i feel restricted i get waves of exuberance
flashes of enlightened thought
why cant i manipulate a hallucination to my intellectual advantage in a dream state of consciousness
or do i just miss it every time
or forget im good at that
i wonder if soul mates are meant to be lovers or just an assumption
i know a girl whos so interesting
we dont like each other like that well she has a boyfriend and she really likes my jewelry
but our conversations are always phenomenal she is open
its strange how much we share on a higher level and she believes
she knows shes died before she hates unproductive mindnumbing bullshit and searches for enlightenment
but believes (as i do) that this is all working together and everything highlights something else
basically that none of us are free if one of us is chained
though its so hard to fathom opening some peoples minds
i think that may be what we live for
sorry everyone ha
but seriously you need to create your own heaven or whathaveyou on earth because
anything is possible and dont be foolish and think existence is some simple math equation
its actually a very difficult math equation with rules that arent fully restricted
restriction is optional but we humans like to manifest difficulty and strife
to set ourselves back
fear or laziness
i dont know but probably both

earth_power @ 2005-11-04T22:54:00

2005-11-05T05:38:13Z

we find ourselves trapped in our own manifestations of
restriction
inability lack of hope
hope for a better world or
a better life a different way
or maybe its the search for that way or that complement that defines our individual selves
the striving: fuel to the creative process a subconcious test of our depiction of the boundaries set by the world that surrounds us
there is no one reality
follow with your eyes

have you ever heard the sound of lifelessness
nothing where there used to be something
no sound where there used to be sound
no life where there used to be life
the sound of dead

then
you see

the process
us them humans and society
we are killing ourselves theyare trying to kill us and pretty soon life and death will be indifferent
born with talents rendered useless by our continuing state of theivery and politics scams and the glorification of the human characteristic of
fucking people over feeding from the weak who really arent even weak at all
the strongest of all
if you are alive
if you think you know the answer to the questions yoou probobly never asked yourself
you might want to ask yourself
do i want to accept the fact that i know we do not know everything
or just keep asking the questions with the easy answers

we should never just let ourselves die sleepwalking through life
hop on the conveyer belt
were off to another wasted life

mystic beauty

2005-11-04T04:57:42Z

i miss
the most her words her voice
the way she felt about
then us beautiful luv
the way we felt
she would write to me
in a way so powerful it seemed as though
it could be a foreign language but not foreign to me
still not foreign
she would make me cry from shock that another could feel this for me
well...
she may always have that advantage
we had a great adventure
fuckin incredible
thank you i still love you
maybe we'll see each other on the road someday

headed in the same direction

and though i cant express to you or anyone why things went
well the way they went i believe that sincerety knows that isnt necessary
ive never felt this and i
d0nt know that i will ever find her again in anyone or anything else
she knows heather you know ive never stopped believing
i fell in love we fell in love we fell and arose
or maybe we never stopped falling
i still love you

i want to see your face
look at you and kiss your forehead and say what we both want to hear
and say
i love you

forever
and everythings gonna be alright

earth_power @ 2005-10-17T01:57:00

2005-10-17T06:58:19Z

art is not the goal but the occasion and the method for locating our specific rhythm and varied possibilities of our time

glug i cry you puke

2005-09-03T06:10:21Z

dont want you anymore dont want this anymore
it hurts it feels good
never there when i need you friend might have to say goodbye soon
i cant go numb
might have to say goodbye soon
my friend
blank face confused soul with an impartial meaning
is it me or is it you
might have to say goodbye soon
my friend
might have to say goodbye

earth_power @ 2005-09-02T23:38:00

2005-09-03T05:45:25Z

im looking for a college away from here
any suggestions? im thinking co
or norcal
maybe socal never texas
i like humboldt
i miss it there sometimes although LA does have some things to offer
really
i just want to be alone and taking care of my own
shit
my life (too many distractions/influences/interruptions here)
however...
how can one feel the undying uncontrollable urge or need for solitude
yet be afraid of being alone
maybe im not afraid love lost may never return
maybe i am
she showed me more
more than this and theres even more than that i must travel again security almost has no meaning to me right now
yet i want other things too i just need a few months/probably years doing more seeing more
than this life
this place these people as much love as we share and always will
i think tonite was the first time i ever told blain and kt i love them (sober)(completely)
i really do though yet i have my own
shit baggage life things to do things to take care of we'll always be together (in the mind) -message!
shyyyyt
am i becoming an insomniac? this has been going on for some time now
we waste too much time sleeping --h.s. thompson once believed maybe subconsciously i know hes right
i feel like i shouldnt waste any time with bullshit
bullshit
bullshit
bullshit
somuchtimewasted but its all the same damn day man cant think too much about tomorrow
what if it never comes or yesterday
it already happened anyway one cannot think about learning it happens
effort permitting of course (most of the time)
dreams are not a waste ov time though
if you use them like drugs should be used (learning experience)i try harder than it is to type it
not always easy but we manifest our own, well, everything its all possible
always we set our own boundaries we create our own stress and we allow things(sometimes even by free will) to control us to lead us
someone read bukowski
i like it
strange mind he uses creatively
funny shit sometimes too with meaning (i think, anyway)

hatred, bloodshed i saw it by the pool the accused child molester (31 on the beach at 1am with 13yr girl)
3 burly men-one the father of the girl-beat the ever-living shit out of this guy-seriously
the force began not 3feet away from me poolside at the holiday inn in pcb fla. if nobody were around they would have beat him to death and im not fucking kidding biloxi friends of mine(since 20 minutes before) helped end the massacre before anyone even knew what was really going on- except me (somewhat)
the dude told me the story it was a "15yr old boy" he just happened to be walking down the beach next to
seemingly a very harmless nerdy-type guy who liked 60s music(thats how our conversing began)he told me he was confronted by the father on the beach and all had supposedly ended but he was afraid of something
i later found out SHE was 13 people saw them walk down the beach and sit together--the rest ?
so once the man was bloody crying and swollen missing teeth blood-soaked poolchairs and ground he slipped
-more beating all in the face the burly man was unstoppable(the father)by then he was the only one coming back for more his wife (the mother)got on top of the bleeding "molester" to "stop" the massacre
the father her husband hitting her in the back of the head at fullfledged drunken force to get to the guy
he would have killed him he wanted to
i could see the fire in his eyes and this really happened aug 31 1am
cops paramedics nobody arrested(after the one guy-the one who threw no punches- explained the situation)the other 2 split moments before i did not try to pull them off of him i will not lie if it did happen he deserved it all but really these dudes were crazy and probably would have beaten the shit out of me if i touched any of them so i yelled "what the fuck man?!" "what the fuck?!" i was confused whats a dude like me to do with no involvement and 3 200+ lb men (2 doing the beating) beating the shit fuck everliving life out of someone hatred(with good reason)on their parts drunkenness and physical abuse not on the guy's side by any means AT ALL,NEVER EVER EVER, but whats a 13yr old girl walking down the beach at 1am for anyway? evacuees at that not locals
never seen abuse like that since junior high seriously even I couldnt sit still after that

earth_power @ 2005-09-02T19:44:00

2005-09-03T00:59:50Z

whats the use?
really
i feel like i really shouldnt care so much but
i cant help it sometimes
should we be even further away than we already are?
dont think it would be TOO much diffrent
whats the use? whats wrong with me?
with THIS? who knows or cares
some whom i know less than others
care a lot
where do these expectations come from?
why?
why question so much?
a woman once told me i am a dreamer
i ask questions that do not have answers and this person believes i waste too much time
and unneccessary thought and energy on these
why? she asked
idunno
excercising of the mind i guess
why ask questions that one can answer easily?- i responded in such a way
we argued a lot she had imput, opinions, and even some rational reason
but no respect
we disagreed and she condemned
i am wrong for thinking this way
whatever
dont give advice if you dont accept it from
-right?
i CAN accept that i DO NOT know everything
such an impossible task- to know all
menial is it to always know the answers

i write because i am

2005-09-02T04:51:11Z

if i werent
i wouldnt be

bdaze in 6 daze

2005-09-02T04:46:48Z

22 wonder whati'll do?
use my stoner souper powers to fix SE LA
yeah right
even that cant help this anxious feeling
well maybe it would
where are you?
where am i?
does it even matter?
or does it matter most?

katrina

2005-08-27T00:55:19Z

why arent hurricane names more scary
ive met chihuahuas with more intimidating names
i dont really care if it comes but if it does thats just a reason to leave for a few days
until you come back to the aftermath
consequences-- some good some bad but they only exist because of reason
reasoning, morals, decisions
deciding to live in the SE
its like living in tornado alley and bitching every time your shit gets destroyed
you live there dumbass
we live here
expect whats to be expected--- at least.
cant compete with what you dont fully understand (nature)
and we never will

im going to six flags tomorrow
what great fun im only goin cause bri t wants me to go with her
we'll probably just be high the whole time---she likes to smoke
shes ok her pit bull- tank- is insane
in a goofy-ass pit bull puppy sort of way
but he jumps a lot
he likes me way too much
no humping, but he takes advantage of me- not really
hes cool though
i might be wakeboarding on sunday but doubtful
it depends on what katrina wants to do
shes a natural "weapon of mass destruction" with no regulations--ha its true though
whatever
lifes good
im goin to blains

earth_power @ 2005-06-13T17:57:00

2005-06-14T00:59:00Z

Vacation

Transcribed by: unknown
Bryan Irby

Almost 23,
I took a trip to the sea.
Went out for a swim and the waves came crashing down on me.
Turned to head back in.
That's when I saw the fin.
As panic grabbed my legs, you know it, pulled me in.

I didn't see you were right next to me
But I'm so glad you could make it.
With you by my side, I might get back alive
From my next vacation.

Mountains looked like fun.
Climbed up the to sun.
And from the peak, I got such a view, I forgot to hang on.
The wind came rushing in
And broke my safety-pin.
But as I flew by, you threw me a line. Saved again!

I didn't see you were right next to me
But I'm so glad you could make it.
With you by my side, I might get back alive
From my next vacation.

Took a trip over there
To see how I'd fare.
Got on my little white boat and didn't have a care.
The third day at sea,
We began to sink.
They said "Women and children first", I said "Guess that's not me".

But you came along with a raft and a song,
And I'm so glad you could make it.
And with you by my side, I might get back alive
From my next vacation.

I didn't see you were right next to me
But I'm so glad you could make it.
With you by my side, I might get back alive
From my next vacation.
-----
VARIATIONS:

9/15/86 Athens, GA
Desert looked like fun
Thought I'd give it a try
It's been raining for so long here I can't
Make myself cry

have you ever looked into the eyes of a sick or dying animal?

2005-06-14T00:54:45Z

Downed Animal . . .
Just the words produce an image of a suffering, sick animal. Sadly, this nightmarish vision is all too real every year for untold numbers of animals at stockyards, slaughterhouses, and production farms. The meat and dairy industries call them "downers"- animals so diseased or badly injured that they cannot even walk.

Many segments of the meat industry deal in "downers" because they can still sell them for human consumption. Profit, not humane considerations, guides industry practice and downed animals suffer gross negligence and abuse at livestock facilities across the country.

Fortunately, reforms stipulated by the USDA have, for now, stopped the worst abuses of downed cattle at stockyards and farms, following the discovery of a BSE-infected dairy cow in Washington state in December 2003. The resultant, USDA-mandated ban on the slaughter of downed cattle for human consumption has prevented countless thousands of downed cattle from being dragged, bulldozed or otherwise abused to move them alive to the slaughterhouse.

However, the current USDA ban does nothing for animals other than cattle, and for countless sheep, pigs, and other farm animals who become downed every year, the misery continues. These downed animals may lie in alleyways, without food, water or veterinary care, until it's convenient to take them to slaughter.

In some cases, downed animals die of neglect. If they are still alive to meet the slaughterhouse truck, they are typically moved by the easiest, but least humane ways, which can include being dragged with chains and being pushed with tractors or forklifts. These practices cause injuries ranging from bruises and abrasions to torn ligaments, broken bones, and dislocated joints.

Fortunately, the incidence of downed cattle abuse appears to be declining since the USDA ban on their slaughter for human consumption. For those cattle who do become downed on the farm or at the stockyard, on-site euthanasia no longer presents an economic loss.

However, as fears over "mad cow" disease begin to fade in the public's mind, cattle industry lobbyists are continually maneuvering to weaken the USDA's ban. In recent legislative sessions, they have managed to introduce legislation that will allow downed cattle to be slaughtered for human consumption. Although the bill died in the last session of Congress, we must continually guard against industry efforts to undermine downed animal protection.

In the meantime, the meat industry will continue to use and abuse livestock who are "downers" until we pass laws to ban downed animal cruelties for all farm animals. The Downed Animal Protection Act, a federal bill which applies to all farm animals, has been introduced repeatedly (and defeated) in past legislative sessions, and we expect it to be reintroduced during the 109th Congress as well.

i can now play rebirth through my amp

2005-06-10T01:55:56Z

music is a wave
a sort of natural flow
like the way we see life moving, ever-changing
a trance, self-expression
wp makes me smile

i can see...on the road ahead
cant quite make it out just yet
just enjoying the ride
some roads are just a little less bumpy
opinions differentiate, however
but why not just enjoy being alive and opinionated and free and revolutionary and full of energy
waiting to explode either on the inside....or outside
i can see things a little better now...
just struggling still to see through the fog
the most difficult situations or experiences become life-threatening
only the worst will bring out the best--you cant see pleasure without pain
or pain without pleasure
without one the other would not exist
i can see it now and i think its what i want...
the day shines bright from here
the hole in the clouds brings a sort of natural enlightenment
the best of all
and i can see where it goes from here
some time to rationalize--whats rational?
life is and thats it
i can see all of the different doors
and hallways
i like the trees and the rivers
open mind for an open space
and some peace and quiet

art is energy
is subconcious
is expression
comes from the mind
the body and
the soul
divine is all that are alive

...werd up

earth_power @ 2005-06-03T18:18:00

2005-06-04T01:24:58Z

the new system of a down cd is badass
im goin tubin on the river with some friends tomorrow
theres something wrong with me theres something wrong with you theres something wrong with me theres something wrong with you
whoever reads this..
buy the new system of a down cd
or burn it
whatever
its fucking good

i got the bluze

2005-05-27T23:10:30Z

i made a couple of necklaces today, though
theyre nice--my aunt bought one
what to do what to do
my mind is racing and my muscles are tense and i dont know what to think sometimes
but im ok
it felt so good to talk last night

we saved the life of a puppy

2005-05-26T04:27:09Z

he came in from mr.fish-a pet shop:(- lethargic and was in the same close quarters of another puppy with parvo(a potentially-almost indefinitely-fatal virus that attacks the intestine,killing off the inner linings of it and obviously is a very serious disease) so he too had parvo
luckily we caught it early and with aggressive(not harmful,of course) treatment i am happy to say he is alive and well
he loves to be held and is happy as can be
fuck mr.fish
they did not want to pay for the treatment and wanted us to euthanize it
doc took matters into his hands
now that hes better, mr.fish wands him back
needless to say were adopting him out someone at my work is taking him
fuck pet stores greedy bitches
breeders too sorry people but...
fuck you and fuck off
dont you have anything better to do than to force animals to breed
take their babies and sell them for profit while animal overpopulation is a growing problem and causes countless euthanasias everyday
neglect and refuse to treat the sick FUCK YOU
what makes humans so fucking superior
even if we are, isn't that more the reason to take care of and look after the "less intelligent"? help them out teach them and learn from them
no lets treat 'em like shit maybe it'll make our dicks grow hard with desire for power--a true achievement
right?

do these words mean anything to anyone?

2005-05-25T23:52:48Z

testure:

in nervous convulsion crouches infant ape trembling in mothers shit cage eyes tear less filled with contempt clinic mask experiment with life and death smell lingering noxious mixed scent anxiety omnipotent doctor grinds the cage door revealing loves primal instinct taken away the tiny face terrified rant and rave smash your head against the cage vacuum clicks on high conscious of the pain pass off as humane white coat seems so clean most dirt bleached out of greed force the point of habit eyes burn in a rabbit push the pain test button spines cut trip mucous inflection more die. pills each day what goes around comes back stronger tap into the brain break the skull again smash price research rat lab rent pain in flesh more ill drug store sales sharpen the knife emphasis on money new disease everyday end is seen and coming reseach turns it's back to gain crush the spine genocide kitten drags its dead limb continuing all suffering it will come back and win shock paralyse turn trauma burns out the will to live the lying message 5 year genocide 1945 suicide vivisect VI

fuck animal abusers
fuck animal abuse
fuck science
i could kill a human before i could kill an animal
i could harm a human before i could harm an animal
unconditional love is the best overall
hang in there my furry (and not-so-furry) friends
you'll all be saved one day
i love animals

ain't life grand?

2005-05-23T23:54:41Z

ain't life grand?
the sun came out the other day
through those dusty clouds
and in my mind i was a child...
and it felt good!
-wp

earth_power @ 2005-05-23T16:43:00

2005-05-23T23:44:15Z

Farm Animal Rescue Stories
Polly and Molly

Before making their way to Farm Sanctuary, Polly and her daughter, Molly, lived on a farm that did not provide its animals with adequate food or shelter. Polly, hoping to find a better life for herself and her daughter, took matters into her own hooves one day, and escaped the farm with little Molly in tow. Sadly, life outside the farm did not turn out as Molly had expected, or hoped. Wandering the streets helpless and alone, the courageous pair still did not have enough food to eat, and little shelter from the elements.

One day while mother and daughter were searching for food, and beginning to grow frantic with hunger, Molly dashed across a busy road and was hit by a car. Thankfully, the young goat survived the accident, no doubt because her doting mother was nearby to provide nourishment and comfort. Neither goat would have lasted long though, especially considering Molly's injuries, without the help of a caring couple in the area who saw the goats struggling to survive. With kind words and food, the rescuers were finally able to coax the goats close enough to catch them. They then gently loaded the goats into their truck and drove them to our New York Shelter.

When Polly and Molly first arrived, Polly was still quite feral and easily frightened, and Molly was suffering from what we discovered was a permanent injury to her left front leg. Just moments after being placed in a private introduction pen with her daughter in our sheep barn, Polly jumped over the wall, right into our flock of sheep. Even with her injured leg, Molly was right on her mother's heels, easily clearing the 4-foot fence.

Wondering if maybe it was meant to be, we let the girls stay with our sheep. They lived with the sheep for years, and then one day, we found them in with our goats instead, acting for all the world as if they had not just made a drastic change in social groups. At first we worried that the larger goats in the herd would be rough on little Molly, but seeing the watchfulness and love in her mom's eyes, we knew we had nothing to fear. There was nothing to be worried about anyway, as it turned out, because the goats all loved Molly instantly and played with her very gently.

As inseparable as when they first arrived, Polly and Molly are enjoying life together here at Farm Sanctuary. The two remain incredibly bonded to one another and Polly has continued to always take special care of her daughter's every need. Both mother and daughter have taught us all a great deal about courage and compassion since we have known them. Polly especially, though, has inspired us to better ourselves. . .by teaching us to become ever more tender and caring toward those we love.

earth_power @ 2005-05-23T16:40:00

2005-05-23T23:42:52Z

Rescued Ashford hogs now pigging out in California
By ELMER PLOETZ
News Southtowns Bureau
5/23/2005

You could say Anna and Lucy are happier than a pig in . . . muck.
After all, pigs really prefer clean, dry surroundings, with only an occasional mud bath to cool off. And these two hogs have it made, basking in the warm California sun.

That's a world of difference from their surroundings on Dec. 3, 2002.

That's when Cattaraugus County SPCA investigator Mike Kist found them on an Ashford farm, huddled together outside in the bitter winter wind and snow with 126 other pigs. It was cold enough that some of the pigs were literally frozen into the mud and mire. Others were too weak to move.

"After I learned about the condition they were in and the circumstances they had suffered, I feel good every time I look out and see them," said Daniel Paul Thomas, the retired school administrator who adopted them. "On a sunny day, they just go out and bask in the sun."

Thomas has a chapter about the two pigs in his book "Essays From the Ten," which he wrote about his experiences with animals on his 10-acre property near Chico, Calif.

Anna and Lucy's experiences are typical of many of the pigs, about a third of them adults, that Kist seized from farmer Gerald Robert Nason Jr.

The pigs came under the protection of the Farm Sanctuary group, which has its headquarters in Watkins Glen. The group, which describes itself as the nation's largest farm animal rescue and protection organization, found adoptive homes for all of the healthy pigs - as pets, not potential food sources - within 30 days of when the placement effort started.

The bad news was that some of the pigs had frostbite, and most had diarrhea and a parasitic skin disease. Nine were euthanized at the site, and close to 40 of the pigs never regained their health and died.

Nason, the farmer who owned the pigs, eventually accepted a plea bargain of guilty to nine counts of cruelty to animals. Two of the pigs were dropped off to Meghan Beeby in Iowa, along the Farm Sanctuary truck's route to California.

"I always heard pigs were intelligent, smarter than dogs," said Beeby, who has since moved to Ithaca to work for Farm Sanctuary. "Now that I've got them, I can see it for myself.

"The vets that come to check on them are amazed they can take blood or give a shot with no restraining needed. I think vets had only seen pigs that were raised for meat."

Many of the pigs have grown to 800 or 900 pounds, but Thomas said he usually just feeds the pigs a large coffee can full of pig pellets a day each, plus whatever leftovers there are from the dinner table.

"The advantage of being where they are is they go out in the field and root for grubs and that kind of stuff," he said. "They're fairly contented pigs."

"A well-armed populace is the best defense against tyranny"

2005-04-24T04:28:58Z

"They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"
The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure, while always arriving"

"You can only be held responsible, you can only be found guilty, you can only be admired or respected, for things you did of your own free will"

"I want freedom, that's what I want! And that's what you should want!"
"The trick is to combine your waking, rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams"

"We seem to think we're so limited by the world, and the confines....but, we're really just creating them."
"Life understood is life lived."
"Examine the nature of everything you observe."

earth_power @ 2005-04-12T21:22:00

2005-04-13T04:56:52Z

allman bros. are playin the saenger theator
weird place for a show but i think i might go
im gonna sell jewelry at jazzfest just toss a blanket down display and chill
if i dont sell anything who gives a shit
maui and jupiter are really playful today
i stayed @ lances last night and it stormed quite heavily
i was lying down thinking of them being alone
you know what that is like (i know you do) then i realized
they have each other--and thats an awesome thing
i think theyre just happy im spending time with them
ive been gone a lot
im not moving in with lance and amanda(pretty sure) i just dont see that working out right now
for many reasons
widespreads first three nights back are some of the best shows ive ever heard
they played three songs that they havent played live since mike died (georges guitars sound much like mikes style in these songs--jb sings mike's parts)
also some new songs and george is getting a lot better at guitar david schools wuz JAMMIN down on the bass-real good
cant wait to see them for 2 1/2 hours at jazzfest--thats almost a full show (3 hours usually not counting the set breaks and encore break)
cc ginger peach iced tea is good
smoking is bad when you realize smoking is bad and you wanna do it anyway
i feel a sorta emptiness
pictures bring me tears and fucking amazing memories (the ones you know youll never forget)
so i think of you

so ive lost myself in life again
stranded tired
without a compass or a clue
i never had a chance
until we met
you gave me comfort and love
and kisses all night
you took me for a joyride
through the roughest seas
and we always saw the light
shining through the clouds
you made me want to get there
even when i didnt know where we were going
strongest woman softest kisses
lovemaking in the most natural way
in the most natural places
i miss her eyes staring deep into my soul
her jetblack hair between my fingers
we would embrace and never let go
well we never have